What I needed to say;

  • And God created the earth.

    He created the sea and the trees and the sky. He created the bugs and mammals and seeds for the soil. When he saw the seas weren’t enough, he created the oceans. When he realised the trees weren’t enough, he created the mountains. When he noticed the sky was not enough, he created the humans. He created Adam and he created Eve. He created emotions; love, hate, sadness, jealousy, revenge. He created death.

    But he forgot something. Something important.

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  • I don’t want flowers.

    And I told him; love does not have to be painful. Love can be calm, peaceful, easy, fun.

    He thought love was a way of self-harm and always went for the ones who would add scars to his soul.

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  • sixty five days, 9 years ago

    It was 65 days ago when you entered my life, with your shorts and lost expression. I stood in the corner of the street for a few seconds and watched you. I was hangover. I thought we would just have coffee together in a cafe in Beşiktaş and we’d never see each other again.

    I asked you what your name means. You did not know. I told you about my favorite book ever and you told me about your sailing plans.

    Your eyes shined when I spoke and it turned out, hey, we have so much in common, would you want to meet up again?

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  • Burden of Remembering

    I remember. I remember your eyes and your hands, holding mine, warm. I remember the way your arms made me feel safe and your mind made me confused. I remember you wanting me and rejecting me and claiming me and trying to keep your distance from me. I remember your making me smile and sometimes so mad I could cry. I remember the times we got drunk together and we got lost on the streets, walking, kissing under the street lights.

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  • Belonging in unlikely places

    Dreaming about all those cities you want to go and you will go and you will never go again. Falling in love and getting your heart broken and wondering one night, unable to fall asleep, all of a sudden, if you have really felt the real love. The kind you read in books and heard in songs. Crying away from home to find home and searching for your soulmates all around the world. Chasing the idea that one person you left behind could have been the one and he is not. Baby, stop running after ideals and ideas and empty dreams, he is not. Follow the sun and the tree and the green. Clouds won’t break you nor fix you. That one more step won’t change you but take you. Somewhere far. Where you will meet the one. You’ll see. It will be you.

    And when it happens, you will say “That day, the sky looked exactly like this”.

  • Diamonds and Rust

    In life, everything has or should have a meaning even when I cannot see it. That is what I always have believed in. I have believed everything is connected and we are all connected to each other with a red string and that the butterfly effect is real. You know, a butterfly flaps her wings and that creates a hurricane at the other side of the world.

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